Milo is nine months old and when they say children are like sponges it’s so true. At the moment he is sucking everything up, watching every move and listening to every sound and starting to mimic and copy us.

When I say us I actually mean his grandad. Honestly It’s driving us mad, first there was the strange noise he copied that prompted someone is Sainsburys to say to me ‘your baby sounds like an ewok’ which got grandad his first telling off. This week it is the tongue thing…..oh boy is this a special one. A lady in Specsavers the other day asked if Milo was ok….I had no response for her. Grandad has swiftly been told off again and asked to behave. For anyone reading this you might think I’m being unnecessarily harsh on grandad, but you guys haven’t seen this thing Milo does. It is not cute, not cute at all. Is it wrong to just want him to grow up not weird.

So the other day something happened, something that tested me as a mummy, it was horrifying but completely expected, in the back of my mind I knew this day would eventually come.
I had popped into Milos room, he was just waking up from a nap and was chatting away in his cot, greeting me with that huge grin.

Then I saw it.

Sitting there like it owned the room, watching me with its hundreds of eyes (maybe it’s only eight but hundreds sounds more dramatic) I couldn’t take a picture because it was too big, think dinner plate size. It’s many legs twitching away, making it look like it might have been dancing.

So you might have guessed it. I. Hate. Spiders.

They terrify me, but I can’t kill them so it makes life a little difficult. I make Milo’s daddy remove them safely and wave them on their way.
Well he wasn’t in. What would I do, my son is there, and I can’t get to him because a 2ft spider (at least) stands in the way.

When I was pregnant my mum would say to me you need to worry less, you need to stop stressing because babies pick up on these things. Whether it’s true or not it’s stuck in my mind so there really was only one choice.
I would leave Milo, leave the house, lock the door and wait for help. Ok so maybe that wasn’t actually an option, so I had to remove the spider myself.

I want my son to grow up thinking mummy is brave, I want him to not be scared of anything, a bit more like his dad than me. I’m scared of loads of stuff, it seems the older I get the wimpier I get too! Especially with how he is watching and learning at the moment I need to be the bravest so that he can be the bravest.

Glass in hand I teetered back and forth, half expecting the spider to jump on his back legs and dive at my face, what would happen to me, can you actually die from fear?
Fear is so silly, this thing is smaller than me so why am I starting to sweat and starting to feel a bit dizzy in the head.

Then, looking at Milo who was watching me intently I dived forward and trapped incy wincy in the glass (a huge glass for my 2ft dinner plate sized spider) and half the job was done.
Then I got Milo and through the glass showed him the spider, pretending it was super cool and exciting. Hopefully I faked it enough for him to think his mummy is the bravest and that spiders are cool (when they are outside at least 20ft from me.)

I’d like to say I finished the job but that would be a lie. I left the room, shut the door and incy spent his whole day in the glass greenhouse until daddy came home that evening and he could remove it and send him packing. During the day I might have checked occasionally that he was still under the glass, just in case he’d developed extraordinary spidee strength and thrown the glass off and headed for my bedroom.

Being a mum is hard, I’ve had to do things I never thought I would, but right now while I can I’m going to be the bravest mummy, I’ll battle spiders if it means he grows up not scared of them. I’ll pretend I love flying so he grows up wanting to travel and I’ll eat all my vegetables while saying ‘yum’ and ‘oooh that’s tasty’, yes even aubergine if it means he loves healthy food. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes and I’m sure he will sooner or later figure out that I’m a bit of a wimp, but let’s hope I can keep it up just long enough for him to have braveness imprinted on his brain.


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